Tracey Cox reveals her 10 golden rules for good sex

Tracey Cox reveals her 10 golden rules for good sex



There’s sex. There’s good sex. And there’s spectacularly good sex.



Which would you prefer with your partner?



If it’s the latter, here are ten golden sex rules to guarantee that’s what you’ll get.



Life’s short. Aim high!



LAUGH IT OFF



Sex is smelly, noisy, sweaty and unflattering.



If you’ve never done anything in bed that’s caused you the slightest bit of embarrassment, you win the award for The World’s Most Boring Lover.



The World’s Best has had semen in their eye, pubic hair up their nose, broken wind at the worst possible moment, looked down at their body and thought ‘Jesus! I really should have joined that gym’, tripped over because their knickers were around their ankles and felt stupendously ridiculous because they tried something new and it went horribly wrong.



Your attitude is spot on, if you thought, Who cares!, when any or all of the above happened.



You’re having sex, not performing live on You Tube (well, I assume you aren’t).



USE YOUR BRAIN



Wise up to all the myths.



If you really think about things, you’ll realise your best friend isn’t getting it more than you are, simultaneous orgasms are rarer than hen’s teeth, movie sex and porn aren’t even close to the real thing and (the clinchers) real men have erection problems and real women have problems reaching orgasm.



In fact, plenty of women wish their sexual organs not only came with an instruction manual but a lifetime warranty as well.



It would be far simpler to send them back with a letter saying ‘This one’s faulty. The parts aren’t in the right place’.



Why oh why isn’t the clitoris inside the vagina?



One simple relocation and one of the most frustrating sex problems there is – that 80 per cent of women can’t orgasm during intercourse – is solved instantly.



USE IT OR LOSE IT



Sex problems often aren’t sex problems at all, they’re time problems.



If you have to get in time management consultants to achieve this, do it: sort your life out so you’re making time for two sex sessions a week.



I don’t care if the grand total of time spent on these two sessions is 10 minutes, it’s just a very good idea to connect sexually twice a week, minimum, unless you’ve got a really good reason not to. (You’ve just had a child).



Ideally, you’ll do it three times.



If you really want to impress, it’d be nice if you spent at least 10 minutes on two of those sessions and set aside 30-45 minutes for the final one.



That’s a commitment of just ONE HOUR each week.



I’d say a lot of you are thinking, That’s nothing! She’s undercalling it!



Before you get too smug, here are a few random statistics.



A quarter of couples have sex once a week. A third have it twice.





Only 15% have sex three times a week. Sixty one percent say a long session lasts 45 minutes.



Five percent of people watch telly or their ipads while they’re having sex.



This is why I’m not being too ambitious.



Time yourself: most people don’t spend as much time having sex as they think.



There are lots of reasons why you should have regular sex and one big pay off is this – more orgasms, less effort.



The more you have sex, the quicker the chemical connection between brain cells because the impulses are travelling along a well-beaten path.



BUY A VIBRATOR



Nearly a third of all households in the UK reputedly own a vibrator. This makes them more common than cats.



There are some very good reasons why every woman and every couple should use a vibrator.



Number one: vibration is the most efficient way to stimulate the clitoris and most women orgasm this way.



Lots of women only have orgasms using their vibrator.



Second: couples who use a vibrator during sex dramatically increase her orgasm frequency.



Two very good reasons to have one handy in the bedside drawer (and there are more).





GO FOR CHEMISTRY



Think about the best goddamn sex you’ve ever had.



Was it with the person you’ve loved the most or the person you most lusted after?



I’d bet my apartment it was the latter.



It’s impossible to have take-my-house-car-children-cash-everything-just-give-them-to-me sex without one vital ingredient: chemistry.



While you do need all the technical stuff to keep it going long-term, finding your sexual soul mate makes the whole thing so much easier because if you’ve got colossal chemistry, everything else seems to click into place.



So if you haven’t chosen your life partner yet, choose someone who you crave to be near.



Chemistry makes everything easier long-term.



SEPARATE SEX FROM LOVE



Great sex and true love don’t go together like bacon and eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m with you: falling in love is one of life’s most wonderful experiences.



When it’s reciprocated, it’s like travelling on one big, fluffy white cloud: light, dreamy and full of joy.