RACHEL JOHNSON: Prince Harry on the perils of 'doing a Ratner'

RACHEL JOHNSON: Prince Harry on the perils of 'doing a Ratner'



Dear Harry,

In normal times I'd let it pass, but I'm writing as your Ken Palace advisers are clearly AWOL, and these are not normal times. You may not have noticed, as you're too busy at the meat counter of Whole Foods or getting the Natural History Museum to open just so you and Meghan can gaze at dinosaurs in private, but we're all on post-Election edge here.

The nation is divided and angry, the Government is hanging by a gossamer thread, and in the past week or so it has seemed as if it's only the Queen keeping the country together: visiting the bereaved of Grenfell Tower, giving her Gracious Speech in Parliament, shooting off to Ascot.

Right in the middle of all this – in a Newsweek interview on Wednesday – you pop up and rattle our faith in the one thing this country basically still believes in, far more than bloody Brexit and almost as much as the blessed NHS.



What on earth were you thinking, frightening the horses with this: 'Is there any one of the Royal Family who wants to be king or queen? I don't think so, but we will carry out our duties at the right time.'

What a Ratner moment that was. 'Reluctant Royals' is very bad PR for the brand, and The Firm is not just any brand – it's arguably the most successful in UK plc.

In that one sentence you also reveal that you fail to grasp the corporate purpose of The Firm. The entire point of the Royals is: you do what you are, not you are what you do. The Queen is Queen. Your father is heir to the Throne. Camilla is consort. Your only job – since you threw in the Army, which must count as a mistake – is therefore Prince.

Your sister-in-law Catherine seemed to get this when she described herself as 'Princess' in the space left for occupation on George's birth certificate. It's your honour and your privilege, whether you like it or lump it, and you don't seem to like it very much.

I shudder to think of your grandmother's reaction.

She has served this country without putting a foot wrong or opening her mouth out of turn for 70 years, and now you reveal that your father and brother are mere huffy hostages of history.

Then, in the next breath, you explain that you are doing the world a favour just by your very existence. 'It's a tricky balancing act,' you say. 'We don't want to dilute the magic… the British public and the whole world need institutions like it.'

This makes me worry, Harry, that you have either never heard of Bagehot's first rule of the Royal Family, which is never let daylight in on the magic, or you've chosen to ignore it.

After all, you are, as you say, on your 'journey' and still finding your 'path'. You have chosen to broaden the national conversation on mental health as a tribute to your late mother. This is all wonderful, and your creation of the Invictus Games is also a great credit to you. But your Newsweek interview shows – God, I sound old – that you still have some growing up to do, and 'learnings' to absorb.

'Even if I was king, I'd do my own shopping,' you boast, thus missing the key point. Unlike Princes Charles, William and George, you have dodged that heavy duty.

You will never be king – and therefore have nothing to complain about.

You are free to enjoy your status as most popular Royal, the People's Prince. You can merrily have your cake and eat it from here to kingdom come. So we don't want to hear another peep for a while (and yes, that's the Royal 'we'.)